The Adventures of Yogi and Boo #5

Part 5: The South Will Rise Again.... In Temperature!

Duke college, in Durham, North Carolina was a pit stop Yogi had been waiting for. He quickly made his way to the student store and sifted through the many anti-tarheel shirts until he found it. The duke lacrosse shirt. He grabbed one for himself and another for Boo who didn't quite get the humor but went along with it.

South of the Border! You may think this to be Mexico but no. It is a megaplex of tourist traps just south of the NC border. They turned on "Down In Mexico" by The Coasters and took the exit. The tackiness of the giant sombrero, dinosaurs and doplhin sculptures is only exceeded by the novelty items within the shops. Still the dirty towels (towels with adult only pics and sayings printed on them) and the toilet paper for assholes was a welcomed laugh fest for the duo.

Savannah, Georgia was exactly as you would picture it small brick shops, moss eerily dangling from oak trees and the warmth of the south. Boo was shocked to find that she enjoyed it so much. They stumbled upon a small park lined with benches and sat discussing that life is like a box of chocolates. Tybee island was a stop suggested by Krys. She had spoken of it before and it stuck in Boo's mind. It was a quick jyont from Savannah and well worth it. The sand was powdery and the wind surfers made for great entertainment.
It is safe to say that Georgia was Frank The Tanks favorite state. They love bulldogs in Georgia!

If georgia was his favorite then Florida was his least! The gator state does not like anything bulldogs or bama. Daytona Beach had only one song that could be played Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" the three rolled down A1A Beach Front Avenue! Then had a slice in Boca and continued to Miami. Miami was not as glamorious as the two had envisioned it being. Instead it looked more like an episode of cops. They made a quick exit towards the keys. That night Frank's dislike for Florida was soldified when they were attacked by chiggers!!! The itching was unbearable!

Halloween was spent in the Florida Keys. It was 89 degrees in Key West, perfect blue sky and a warm Atlantic Ocean. Hitting the beach was a must do! They swam with Frankie who wanted to play hungry hungry hippos with the little fish but do to his mishapen body, can't swim! They were away before he could finish his first chomp. It was after many signs that Yogi decided he wanted to see what the fantasy fest was. He will forever have a fear of following a sign. What they found was... Too much! Fantasy fest is a week long event for adults who want to display thier darker sides that are hidden away in their daily lives. Some would argue that these "sides" should stay hidden! The sights they saw that day will forever haunt them. Men wearing thongs, 78 years old women wearing pasties and countless pale persons in their 40-70s without their tops. Nothing was left to the imagination. Yogi has since woken up in a cold sweat from the night terrors.

Weeki Wachee home the mermaids! Nia's one request was a picture of her sissy with a mermaid. They closed at 3 and they arrived at 3:45! Their idea of staying the night was dashed as they found out they were closed for the next 3 days! Lazy mermaids! Between the nude seniors, the biting bugs and the mermaids who dash little girls dreams and never return thier letters... it was clear that Florida Sucks! That was it Frank was done with Flordia and so was Boo.

A drive through Mobile and into Mississippi Yogi and Boo were still wearing shorts in the 80 degree southern heat. New Orleans was the stop that Yogi and Boo were excited for in the south. Fresh from watching Ben Button they couldn't wait to feel the old charm and jazzy zest that New Orleans advertises. Much like Miami and Weeki Wachee...New Orleans was a disappointment. Not at all like the persona they suggest. There were beggers galore, one of which handed Boo some flowers (he had yanked them off the flowered bush in the lawyers parking lot) then asked Yogi for some cash. Yogi explained that he had none and he turned to Boo and asked her for some. She explained she doesnt carry cash... he then reached to her hands and snatched the flowers from them and stalked off. Thier last hope, Bourbon street. It was fantasy fest 2. Every other door plastered with photos of nude women advertising acts not spoken of in civilized conversation. The south was beginning to bring down the wonderful view the two had of America. Was this all that the world was purchased sex, whiskey and begging?

Yogi suggested they go somewhere familiar, Memphis. They made the drive though Louisiana, up Mississippi and into Memphis. Rendevous ribs served up by Jack will cure any Ill feelings you have! So delicious you forget that there is any other food in the world! Heaven on a plate to put it simply. The two walked down Beale street, their tummies full and Yogi let Boo in on something he had been thinking. "I'm done chewing! Once we leave Memphis I'm done."

Once through Arkansas and into Oklahoma city the two could feel the call of the West! The pull was intense and it forced a smile in their hearts. They hit route 66! A true American classic. The museum were great and the funky roadside stops were fun! In Texas they visited the barb wire museum and stopped at the signing truck. After immortalizing their trip they took a moment to look back and say goodbye to the south!

Yogi and Boo are back in the west!
Pics coming soon at photobucket.com/yoginboo